Here at SPF we usually stick to writing about sustainability and/or personal finance.

Not today.

Last Thursday we lost our pet/friend Freya.

The following is an adaptation to the lyrics of ‘Hurt’ as performed by Johnny Cash. If you haven’t listened to his rendition I highly suggest you do.

This is the best way I know to  express my pain.

I lost my pet friend today,
At he tender age of five,
I had to focus on her pain,
I’ll remember her alive,

A shadow of herself,
With sadness in her eyes,
Ever stoic and so brave,
Did not vocalize her cries,

Now that you are gone,
My sweetest friend,
Every pet friend I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
To give me one more day,
My heart sure does hurt,

Loyal, giving, full of love,
We had to end your pain too soon,
So hard to say goodbye,
Our friendship prematurely hewn,

Never known a kinder dog,
A “gentle giant” so true,
The hurt deep inside your eyes,
This choice was best for you.

Now that you are gone,
My sweetest friend,
Every pet friend I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
To give me one more day,
My heart sure does hurt,

If I could start again,
A million miles away,
I’d pick your love again,
I would find a way.


Freya had seemed a little off for a while.  She was lethargic and had barely eaten in a week.  We had a vet appointment arranged for the 22nd.

She never made it.

After a trip to the ER vet in the wee hours of Thursday, a night of sitting vigil and another trip to our vet the next morning we came to realize that many, many things were going wrong with our fully grown puppy.  She still had so much ‘puppy’ in her.

Freya was suffering from auto immune disease, an enlarged spleen, and worse, “suggestive” bone marrow and stomach cancer.  Terms like “suggestive” are used, I think, when the vet is telling you the worst of news.

Freya’s body was failing her on all levels and we chose to put her down to stop her suffering.  It sucked.  The look in her eyes is burned into my head.

Freya was our first baby and not just a pet but a member of our family. The loss of Freya has hit us very hard especially as she was only 5 years old and her death was very sudden.

So please keep us in our thoughts in the next weeks and months as we figure out life without Freya…

And thanks for not getting annoyed for my writing about the “personal”.  Reflecting, remembering, writing … has been therapeutic.



Rest In Peace, Freya.  We will never forget you.

33 thoughts on “Hurt

  1. Oh no! So sorry for your loss. Our dog too is a very special member of our family and we would be devastated if anything happened to her!

  2. So sorry to hear, SPF. I lost one of my dogs in 2010 and it’s still terribly painful. Freya was beautiful and I’m sure she knew how much she was loved.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. She looks like she was your big teddy bear. I always bristle when people tell me my boy is “just a dog.” There’s no such thing as “just” with these amazing creatures. I have learned more about humanity, bravery, and care from the canines that have been with me than most of the people I’ve encountered. If there is anything we can do to help during this time please let us know.

  4. Sorry about your friend, we went through that with Cajun so long ago and we still miss him today XO be grateful for the time you had together XO

  5. So sorry to hear about your loss. I know far to well how much a pet can be part of your life. They really are dear friends and confidants. I went through this last year and I am still getting over it. Allow yourself time and remember, you will always have a ton of great memories to reflect on.

  6. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, dogs (and other pets) are part of the family and you should be expected to grieve about them. I know I did when we lost our dog. Look after yourself and Mrs SPF.

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss SPF! I can only imagine how real the pain must be. My folks have a dog and he is one of my best friends. Every time I go back home for a visit, he’s jumping all over me before I can even get in the door. The day he’s not there will leave an emptiness inside me. I’m sure what you’re feeling is ten times worse. All the best, let me know if there is anything I can do to help you through this time!

  8. Simon- Really sorry to hear about losing Freyda. We went through the same thing with our dog Sam several years ago and it is never easy, they are members of the family in every sense of the word. A touching story about the subject is Marley and Me when you’ve had some time.

  9. I’m so sorry for your loss. When our golden retriever died I cried for Weeks. Only after getting a new dog did it slowly start to get better

  10. Simon,

    I am sorry to hear about your loss. It has been a long time since I had to put a dog down and just thinking about it upsets me. Just try to remember the good 5 years she gave you

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  12. This post really touched me — I went through a similar experience a few years ago. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts.

  13. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and pet. It’s always tough to say goodbye to a loved one, furry or not.

    And you’re right that Johnny Cash’s version of Hurt is amazing.

  14. Very sad to hear about this Simon and Marielle, I’m sure you both miss your friend greatly. I’ve never had a dog myself but I was pretty close to my family’s cats growing up (we had 3) and when one of them dies it really is a sad affair. Hang in there!

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  16. I am so so so sorry for your loss. I only can imagine how difficult it is for you and for your family. I cannot even think about losing my pug. I probably will die together with him. I know I am too late (two weeks or so too late) but I just have to say how sorry I am. She was a beautiful dog. Loved those pictures. With time pain will get better, more bearable. My heart goes out to you, guys! So awful and tragic.

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